Best Friends

Real friends have three principle qualities – they resonate with your personality (sajatiya), have genuine feelings of affection for you (snehasya), and are actually able to help you because of their maturity and wisdom (asraya). Think of someone you consider a good friend and ask the following questions:

Sajatiya (like-minded)

How well does this person know your goals and aspirations in life, as well as the principles you try to live by? If this person was to give a eulogy of your life, how accurate and comprehensive would it be? Is this person easy to be around and have a conversation with?

Snehasya (affectionate)

In times of need, is your friend there for you? Does your friend make excuses, disappearing when it becomes convenient? Are you able to talk openly without fear of being misunderstood or judged? Can you disagree with this person and still feel close to them? Is this person genuinely happy in your success and looking for opportunities to help you achieve?

Asraya (shelter and help)

Has this person genuinely given you help which has improved and upgraded your life? Is this person someone you intuitively think of when you need help? Is this person able to give you critical feedback and openly talk about improvements that you need to make in your life?


Pick one of your current friendships and, with reference to the three guiding principles above, state three things you could do today which would upgrade the relationship.

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